How to calm yourself down during a crisis

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that feel out of control. Below are 4 ways to take control and easily calm down.

Let me share a personal story with you that illustrates how you can take control of a charged situation

One of my children had a minor medical procedure. Even though it was very simple, it felt huge and scary to her. When the doctor came in, the tears and crying began.

Before we got to the appointment we talked about ways to self regulate.

•Take deep slow breaths

•Think about a happy calm place and go there in your mind

•Remember that it will be over soon and be a blessing to her life

•Remember that she isn’t alone- I was there, and so many other people were thinking of her, and supporting her from afar

All of these things were forgotten in the moment.

Things escalated quickly

Because my daughter was so scared she was crying in fear. Things escalated quickly and there was lots of emotion in the room.

The doctor asked me to leave the room.

No way was I leaving her there, so vulnerable, with people who had known her for 5 minutes.

In the end, she finally told the doctor and his assistants, “I’m not quite ready. Please let me take a few breaths and then you can start.”

We all paused while she took some deep breaths, held my hand tight. Before we knew it the procedure was over.

There were so many other ways this scenario could have gone.

I was so proud of her for choosing to pause and breathe.

I was so proud of ME for leaving emotion behind and choosing to stay, support, and hold her hand.

I hope that when she looks back on this incident she feels loved and supported.

I hope she remembers how it felt to be held up when she didn’t feel strong.

I hope she remembers that I have her back.

She later said “I was kind of a drama queen, wasn’t I, mom?” I replied, “You were not a drama queen. You were scared and you needed a moment to self regulate. You chose to do that, and you did great!”

When you find yourself in an emotional situation, there are 4 things you can do:

1- Pause and Breathe

Take some slow deep breaths. Picture yourself breathing in light and love and exhaling the negative thought or emotion you are feeling.

2- Observe by Stepping outside the Box –

Picture yourself standing in a box. Now, step out of the box, leaving all emotions inside. Imagine yourself standing outside the box looking in. Observe what’s happening in the moment. Observe those you are interacting with and what they are saying, without judgment. When you feel calm enough to re enter the conversation, step back into the box and calmly speak your truth.

3- Observe How Your Body is Feeling

Where are you feeling the emotion? Is your stomach in knots? Are you balling your fists up in anger? Honor the feelings you are having. One thing I do is think, “Wow, this is causing me to feel knots of anger in my stomach. I want to run away right now.” By recognizing what is happening physiologically in your body, you are honoring that emotion. If you have time, picture that part of your body relaxing as you take some deep cleansing breaths. Recognize that your brain is protecting you by telling you to run away from an uncomfortable situation. Tell yourself that it’s okay to feel uncomfortable for a moment. This emotion will pass and it will all be okay.

4-Take a break if you need a moment to calm down

You can say something like “I hear what you’re saying. I’d like a moment to process what we’ve talked about. Let’s resume this conversation a little later.” Taking a break can help you regroup. In the story above, my daughter could feel all the emotion in the room. She clearly stated that if she were able to stop for a moment and take some deep breaths, she would then be able to regroup and calm down. It’s okay for you to state your needs calmly, clearly and without emotion.

Bonus Tip!

Holding someone’s hand can do wonders! If you have someone around who can hold your hand to help you calm down- do it! When someone holds your hand it can make all the difference.

Holding a hand can say:

-You’re important to me

-You matter

-Take some time to regulate

-I will help you until you’re feeling strong again

If you want to really master the art of calming down, practice the above steps during a peaceful time. It will help your brain know exactly where to go when things get rough.

You’ve got this! You can do it.

If you need extra support, I’d love to help you with a session.

We can explore where your feelings are coming from and energetically release them. I can also give you tools to help you during difficult times.

Click here: Home Heatherrigby.com and schedule an appointment with me today.

Thanks for reading!